i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
