you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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