Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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