This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
just tell him i said nine months
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
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