Your dad touched me again.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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