Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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