she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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