i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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