i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize