just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
