But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Randomize
