It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
