someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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