My Higher Power is John Stamos
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
