I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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