My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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