Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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