Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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