Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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