Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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