Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
