ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize