so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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