Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
