Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I need moral support for this bender
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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