Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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