After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
