would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
