I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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