But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
