So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize