She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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