Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
