is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize