its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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