This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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