road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
