He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
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