And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
