I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
