i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
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