Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So gin and wine won't be happening again
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
