Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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