is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
