All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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