So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
