So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
