is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize