New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
