guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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