Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize