it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
