i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
