Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
