I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
