so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
