Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
false alarm. still invincible.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize