Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
