i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
