I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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