No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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