god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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