I met the friendliest cop last night
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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