OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
