lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
