I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize