fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
