I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
can u get pink eye on your cock?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
