**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
