I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
