i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
